Jars of It

I’ve known a thousand loves
from the vault of my throat.
Loved men met on city busses
and later undressed
to the sweet circumcision.
Men enticed from their girlfriends
for the night,
who lied and said Yes
as they came.
Men far older
and much too young /
I’ve known boys, is what I’m saying /
not boys in the legal definition
of bodies but still boys sharp in the teeth
and what they carry in their pockets.

          I’ve known girls who taught
          me to play outfield
          when no one, least myself,
          believed I had it in me.
          We’ve cracked
          a bat to ball together.
          I’ve known girls
          who taught me to kiss
          with the tongue.
          I’ve felt my mother’s hands
          bathe my grown body
          when infection hollowed me out
          to soil.

I’ve unlocked the door
to the repairman
on a sub-zero day.

I’ve let a woman with a strange
ponytail in a strange
town shoot saline
& hydrogen peroxide
through my ear,
then stab a pick at the buildup
till I could hear robins again.

          I knew her to say /
          I’m going to use my mama voice
          and show that ear canal who’s boss /
This was the most unconditional
of all human loves
and therefore the most romantic.
When it came to the deep inside of me,
there was no one
more faithful.