Painting My Country’s Flag on My Son’s T-Shirt for His School Intercultural Day

I dip my brush into 101RED
I fill the first stripe in, careful at the borders
those are the most problematic
I wonder why I’m painting the flag off-center
I remember my mom making a snowflake costume for me, aged six
it never occurred to us to wear our flag then
only outside is it a sign of identity
I wash my brush, wipe it with toilet paper, dip it into 332BLUE
my son has now lived longer outside of our country than in it
I read him folk tales, cook blini, pelmeni, and sirniky
will he be hungry for more?
first year, he wore a traditional kosovorotka shirt on this day
it was itchy and stifling
he now wears Uniqlo T-shirts with the flag painted on them
when everyone has a flag, you need one too
my brush is too wet, the color bleeds out of line
so I make the stripe wider
I am nobody’s idea of a nationalist
but I’m now tracing the flag with 34BLACK to make it pop
I trace it over and over to even out the border
I have to make myself stop
it will never be perfect
it is already fine
all I want is for my son to see
that I tried